Thursday, January 22, 2009

Life is like a box of bad southern accents.

These are just my current observations since I’ve only seen three (In Bruges, The Dark Knight, Vicky Cristina Barcelona) of the nominees. I will see Milk and Frozen River soon. I have no intention of watching Forest Gump Reloaded. For the rest, I will wait to get my free screening invites. I know I’m not supporting the local economy, but I only pay for foreign language movies.

Best motion picture of the year

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" As I said, Forest Gump Reloaded.

"Frost/Nixon" I think I’d rather see the actual interviews, which are out on DVD.

"Milk" Forget it. Brokeback Mountain already got it.

"The Reader" A holocaust movie would normally have a better than good chance but the top contenders are Benjamin and Slumdog. They’ll give it to Kate.

"Slumdog Millionaire" Danny Boyle has yet to make a bad movie, so, even if this one is not his best, it has the feel good factor on its side. It’d be an upset if it didn’t win. Plus, Mumbai, you know…terrorists and all. Yea, it’s gonna win.

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor”: Crap. I missed the free screening. I’ll push it up my Netflix queue.

Frank Langella in "Frost/Nixon"

Sean Penn in "Milk"

Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button": Only one thing comes to mind when I see or hear this name. Brad is fucking JC.

Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler": I think this is pretty much a done deal unless Bono starts campaigning for Brad.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Josh Brolin in "Milk": I like Josh, but he’s a wife beater.

Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder": This is the Academy’s idea of an African American nominee this year. They must have missed Forest Whitaker in Vantage Point. Denzel, where are you?

Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight": I suspect they gave him the Globe so they wouldn’t have to waste the Oscar on a dead dude, but there isn’t much competition in this category. Slam dunk.

Michael Shannon in "Revolutionary Road”: I don’t even know who this dude is.

Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Doubt": As if he cares.

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Anne Hathaway in "Rachel Getting Married": Cue ball eye lids has no chance against Kate.

Angelina Jolie in "Changeling": Probably not, since the consensus was that the movie was not very good. Newsflash: I like her now that I found out Brad is screwing JC. Turns out Angie has a tattoo of a crucifix on her khunt-adjacent region. Now, that’s what I call a sense of humor.

Meryl Streep in "Doubt": Hey, what happened to Mamma Mia nomination?

Kate Winslet in "The Reader": Holocaust movie and British actor. I can’t think of a more winning combination. Can you?

Melissa Leo in "Frozen River"

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

This is where the big bucks will be made. I’m waiting to see what the Vegas odds are. But since there are no other African American nominees and The Messiah is now Prez….you do the math. Viola or Taraji.

Amy Adams in "Doubt"
Penélope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Viola Davis in "Doubt"
Taraji P. Henson in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler": You have to be kidding me. She should show up and return the Oscar she already got.

Best animated feature film of the year

"Bolt" Chris Williams and Byron Howard
"Kung Fu Panda" John Stevenson and Mark Osborne

"WALL-E" Andrew Stanton: The geniuses of Pixar will definitely get it.

Achievement in cinematography

"Changeling" Tom Stern
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Claudio Miranda
"The Dark Knight" Wally Pfister
"The Reader" Chris Menges and Roger Deakins

"Slumdog Millionaire" Anthony Dod Mantle:
Tony, I call him Tony, shot Festen (The Celebration to you philistines), one of my top twenty (I love you Ulrich!) and many cool movies. I really, really, really hope he wins.

Achievement in directing

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" David Fincher: I have nothing against Fincher, just Brad and Forest Gump.

"Frost/Nixon" Ron Howard: I have lots against Opie. As a director, not as a person.

"Milk" Gus Van Sant: As long as his movies are financed, I don’t really care. He can direct Will Good Hunting Redux and I wouldn’t diss him

"The Reader" Stephen Daldry: Sorry. Tough competitors. There’s always next year.

"Slumdog Millionaire" Danny Boyle: Fincher is his only competition. And Boyle has directed more and better movies.

Best documentary feature

"The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)": A woman cinematographer’s first directorial debut. Love it.

"Encounters at the End of the World": I just want to see if Werner shows up to the ceremony. I have to admit I’d be very disappointed if he did.

"Man on Wire": This is the best suspense thriller of the year, bur frankly, I don’t know if I can sit through it. The subject unnerves me.

"The Garden"

"Trouble the Water"

Best foreign language film of the year

I haven’t seen them. I know I said I only pay for foreign movies, but what I meant by foreign was, French movies through the 1960s.

"The Baader Meinhof Complex" - Germany
"The Class" - France
"Departures" - Japan
"Revanche" - Austria
"Waltz with Bashir" - Israel

Adapted screenplay

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Screenplay by Eric Roth: Eric shamelessly plagiarizes a movie he already won an Oscar for. F. Scott Fizgerald my ass. Roth is my screenwriting role model.

"Doubt" Written by John Patrick Shanley: It’s a play, not a movie. Blah, blah, blah…

"Frost/Nixon" Screenplay by Peter Morgan

"The Reader" Screenplay by David Hare

"Slumdog Millionaire" Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy: Start making room on your mantle Simon.

Original screenplay

"Frozen River" Written by Courtney Hunt

"Happy-Go-Lucky" Written by Mike Leigh: Mike deserves an Oscar for every film he has written and directed. Period.

"In Bruges" Written by Martin McDonagh: My kind of movie. Scabrously funny, gloriously irreverent and black as night. No chance in hell.

"Milk" Written by Dustin Lance Black

"WALL-E" Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon

I will update as I see more movies. I have to admit I’m very disappointed in the Academy. Only three black nominees in this entire list, including Robert Downey Jr. Whatever happened to Change and Hope? Oprah is not going to be happy. No siree.